Creating Your Birth Preferences (and Staying Flexible)
Writing your birth preferences (sometimes called a “birth plan”) can feel a little like trying to predict the weather — you can plan for sunshine, but you might still get a surprise storm.
The goal isn’t to script every moment of your birth. It’s to think about what matters most to you, so you can walk in feeling calm, informed, and ready to go with the flow.
🌸 Start With What Feels Important
Ask yourself: What do I need to feel safe, supported, and respected during birth?
This is about preferences, not perfection. Some things to think about:
Environment: Would you like dim lighting, music, or quiet?
Support: Who do you want in the room? (Partner, doula, family member?)
Movement: Do you want the freedom to walk, change positions, or use a birth ball?
Pain relief: Are you open to an epidural, or do you want to try natural pain management first?
Interventions: How do you feel about things like induction, monitoring, or assisted delivery if they become necessary?
After birth: Would you like delayed cord clamping, immediate skin-to-skin, or your partner to cut the cord?
Write it down in short, friendly bullet points — midwives love clear, simple notes.
🕊️ Keep It Flexible
Here’s the truth: even the most beautifully written birth plan can shift in the moment. And that’s okay.
Sometimes babies have their own ideas. Sometimes circumstances change.
A flexible mindset doesn’t mean you’re giving up control — it means you’re trusting yourself to adapt and make choices with confidence.
You might write:
“If possible, I’d love a calm, low-intervention birth.
But if medical help is needed, I’d appreciate being kept informed and involved in all decisions.”
That’s the magic balance — clear wishes with room to move.
🌿 Talk It Through Early
Your birth preferences aren’t just for you — they’re for your care team, too.
Discuss them with your partner, midwife, or doctor ahead of time.
Bring a printed copy to your hospital bag.
Keep it short (one page is perfect).
Use calm, positive language: “I’d prefer…” instead of “I don’t want…”
When everyone understands your hopes, it helps the whole room feel more connected and supportive.
💕 Think Beyond Birth
You can also include preferences for after your baby arrives:
Who holds the baby first
Whether you’d like golden hour skin-to-skin
When visitors can come
Feeding preferences (breast, bottle, or both)
It’s your way of creating a soft landing for those precious first hours together.
🌼 A Gentle Reminder
Birth is unpredictable — and that’s part of its power.
You can have preferences, knowledge, and tools and still stay open to however your story unfolds.
Your plan isn’t a promise — it’s a love letter to yourself and your baby, reminding you that you’re ready, capable, and surrounded by support.
However your baby arrives, you did it. 💛